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30 Day Challenge: Detoxing my business & my life

May 21, 2011

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I feel as lost as last years Easter egg. Or that one puzzle piece that you are convinced was never in the box to begin with. The car keys. Heck, the parked car at Target. That one sock that eludes the laundry basket – I mean seriously?! How do I manage to lose a sock every.single.time. Where on earth do they go?!

The good news is that I’m clearly not the only one that feels they have lost “Me”. (see Ashley’s post. I was drafting this post and she had just posted her same sentiments hours earlier! no, no we really aren’t twins, it’s just that prevalent of an issue) The bad news is that it appears to be an epidemic among photographers, videographers, graphic designers, interior designers, event planners, florists, musicians, caterers, bakers –infecting each and every component of weddings & event vendors. But wait, it doesn’t stop there. It has also spread amongst the attorneys, teachers, landscapers, police officers, insurance agents, construction workers, physicians, military personnel, social workers, treasurers, boutique owners, restaurant managers, bartenders, the unemployed, farmers and the mailman. Moms. Wives. Sisters. And their male counterparts of course. It’s evident that is’ not a career or lifestyle or town epidemic but in fact a human epidemic. None of us are immune from losing “Me”, and although I don’t know the cure or any preventative measure just yet, I do know that we can get back to “Me” with lots of blood, sweat & tears of determination. I don’t promise it’ll be easy but I do promise it’ll be worth it. It’s got to be. Something has got to give because I cannot continue to allow pieces of me to be taken bit by bit or worse, in one smash & grab- like diamonds during a jewelry heist. Because I liked how they sparkled & shined.

After reading Mary’s (of Justin & Mary) post about her own struggles with comparisons to other photographers, negativity & “the black hole of bitterness” known as Facebook- I thought, “not only is she an incredible photographer & businesswoman but she’s clairvoyant too.” I mean, jeez! she had just repeated every single doubt in my mind as quick as I could think it. She was in my head and in my shoes. I began to contemplate a strategy…and then *poof* she was knocking around in my pea brain again and created a 30 day challenge. And I’m a sucker for a challenge. Originally created to focus on social media and how to free ourselves from negativity and comparisons, the challenge quickly took a life of it’s own and now includes 5 steps towards reviving “Me” including:

Eliminate the negative. Accentuate the positive. Quite simply, a detox of the social kind. Facebook, Twitter, Blogs, Myspace, Classmates, MyLife, whatever your social media site of choice is-ditch it or filter it. This includes real life people… We allow others to ruin our day with their negativity and we allow our own negativity to bring us down. If it doesn’t inspire you, uplift you, make you smile or feel all fuzzy inside, don’t get near it!

Attitude of Gratitude . We take what we have for granted. Stop and take a minute to think about what you are thankful for every single day. It doesn’t have to be deep and philosophical or lifechanging – if you are happy you found that elusive sock and now have a grand total of 3 matching pairs then shout it out!

Charting your own course. Sit down, take a deep breath, shut out the world and think about where you want to go in life. Life gets in the way of our dreams & we often must choose between wants & needs, with needs usually coming out on top. What do you truly want? What are you biggest dreams? Your scariest goals? Whether you think you will achieve them or not is irrelevant – because you can & you will..or you will at least grow trying. All you need to do is try.

See yourself. See yourself for who are becoming. Not who you always have been. The past is the past so we can focus on the future. Say goodbye to the old version of you. Get ready for version 2.0 or 3.0 or whatever you’re working on.

-Let your fears & setbacks move you. We learn as we grow. And if we stop learning we stop growing. Mistakes, failures, pain, fears, decisions – they all give us the opportunity to make choices. Sometimes we choose wisely and other times we don’t. Sometimes we take the easy & safe route and other times we chose the tumultous route. Maybe we follow or decide to walk the path less chosen alone. Regardless of what choices we make, we  must live with those decisions & consequences – using the postives and the negatives to our benefit. “Life is 20% what happens to you and 80% how you respond to it”. True that.

Head on over to read Mary’s entire 5 step process and challenge yourself. I dare you. All we need to do is try. Give it some effort. Have good intentions. Even just the slightest change is sure to make a measureable improvement in getting us back to “Me”.

Like all plans, it’s subject to change. And like all challenges it’s not gonna be a piece of cake and not gonna go smoothly. So I intend to make every effort to follow the 5 steps, figure out what works for me and what doesn’t, improvise when needed, pick right back up when I fail…and document it via the blog with the hopes to challenge you, inspire you, let you know what you are not alone. But mainly so I put it out there for myself – my fears, my struggles, my goals, my accomplishments, my likes & dislikes, my strenghs & weaknesses, my personal & professional growth – so I can find me, my happy place, my peeps, my path, my brand – both professional & personal  (and that’s called being vulnerable, which covers step #5 Fears & Struggles) I’m well on the way to detoxing my business & my life.

  1. Kayla says:

    Thank you so much for sharing Sarah!!!!! I am on board with this challenge..

  2. OOOH! I LOVE THIS! It’s totally a “ways to make it happen” post! I am guilty of letting the negative folks bring me down lately, so that’s one I need to work on! Love Justin & Mary’s ideas!! You’ve got this, for sure!

    & where is that background? Totally not the elusive one from Charlotte, is it?!?! 😉

  3. mom says:

    A mother’s expession:
    Your feelings are well expressed and not isolated as you have stated.
    …Comments to your expression: You will lose sight of who you are and those things you want to accomplish ‘several’ times throughout your lifetime. Sometimes it takes years of experiencing life to know where you fit into the puzzle or which puzzle you fit into…or if you even WANT to fit into one. As life changes, so will your dreams and desires, making you ‘believe’ you have lost sight of yourself. In reality, you are actually “finding” your true self.
    Be warned, there is an emotion that hides in us, holding us captive and afraid of breaking the mold and accomplishing a life of fulfilment. [FEAR]. Fear is also the ruler of other negative emotions. Low self esteem comes from fear. Jealousy comes from fear. Not forgiving others comes from fear. Bullying comes from fear, etc.

    The FEAR that holds us back is not always obvious. Some are afraid to fall off of the “pedestal” that their parents placed them on. If your fear comes from believing you must not fall off of (your parent’s) pedestal because it will disappoint them and your will not be “perfect” in their eyes,… SHAME ON YOUR PARENTS, for creating such constraints and stressors in your life!…and know, this was not their intent. SHAME ON YOU for allowing such constraints and stress.

    Find your [personal] ‘hidden’ fear, DEFEAT IT and FREE YOURSELF from the prison that prevents you from soaring like an eagle.

  4. Lila Purdy says:

    Sarah, You are absolutely amazing. I love this blog but most of all I love your mother’s response to your blog. I have learned a lot about life from life experiences and from being a mother. I agree with your mom’s post that some people are afraid to fall of their parents pedestal. When I left home at 17yrs old and then 2 yrs later called my parents to tell them I was pregnant, I was afraid I had let them down. Instead they said is was okay, we move forward. A lot has happen in the last 10 years but so many times I felt lost, always trying to find “ME”. In a conversation with my father he said “STOP”, life is a changing game. As you grow your feelings change, your environment changes, people you meet are different, everyday life changes. I truly understood this concept when I had my 2nd child. I just could not possibly imagine that I could love another child because my WHOLE heart belonged to my son. I just did not think it would be possible. Then I had my daughter and it hit me… Life changes, you adapt and overcome. You change, you learn, you are always YOU just things change and you learn to deal. I have learned that you have to create memories that you will be happy with. Those that love you will understand you and those than don’t “oh well”. You are wonderful and things will always fall in place because God never leaves those he loves.

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