Keepin’ it real.

It’s late.  I’m lying in my bed at the Holiday Inn, across the street from the Creative Live studios and I’m feeling kind of complacent.  Alright, maybe complacent isn’t the word.  My brain is just so jam packed yet the wheels are still on over drive and I am clearly (CLEARLY) running on adrenaline, because beauty rest I have not yet encountered.  What am I doing?  I hope my outfit was a good decision.  No, I don’t really sound like a man in person, It’s my allergies!  Gosh I must talk a lot…Along with a tremendous amount of education and wealth that Jasmine Star has laid into the hands of us Creative Live students (a.k.a. the Jasmine Star Jets….right??) comes a tremendous amount of insecurity (for me, at least).  For the longest time I felt like I knew what I was doing, could take a great photo and rock it out.  Now I feel like I have hit a wall in my abilities, creativity, and plan.  I’ve got a (fairly) new 7D that I am still exploring, a plethora of information, honed down my style of photography, am charting my ideal business structure, have recognized my client base, but it still wasn’t all clicking together.  I’m here in the studio, saying to Candice “I just don’t know, my focus points are killing me!” as Jasmine takes my camera out of of my clutches and attempts to program my camera into back button mode (which, she too, was stumped at.  I finally figured it out myself at dinner and man am I in loveeeee!  What have I been DOING this whole time?!?!  Sarah, I’ll getcha up to speed soon sistah!).  So it’s all new, and exciting, and scary, and intimidating (I mean, all of the photographers here ROCK!  And just imagine standing next to Jasmine Star, both of you taking a candid photo at the same time.  OMG. Just put the camera down Ashley.), and I am back to feeling like the amateur again, clueless as to what I am doing wrong technically and how it should be done, but still desperate to learn and determined to make it work, even if I have to haul it to Orange County to shoot that dang orange tree.

I’ve decided.  This is it.

I’m taking the step.  Acknowledging where I am in my life, what I can do to create the results I want, and am going to make a change so help me God.  Being LIVE, on the internet with who KNOWS how many people out there is petrifying, but the support from everyone out there and here has been tremendous.  You guys are rockstars, so grateful we can represent such awesome peers! Oh, and forgetting the cameras are there and not checking out the rewatch helps, too.  But maybe I am still talking too much? Today I have developed complexes about a lot of quirks about myself that I am usually cool with.

I have stepped out of my comfort zone and am so thankful that I did.  There is no magic pill.  There is no easy way out.  If you want it, you have to work for it and own  it.  Oh, and help other people along the way, too.  Keep it simple, silly.

Okay.  So I had a lot of deep, bruting thoughts in my head that I wanted to get out, but I still delerious from A:  serious lack of sleep B: 7 hour plane ride yesterday C: more lack of sleep D: being surrounded by 6 other hilarious and entertaining peers that my brain is fried.  FRIED I tell ya.  That also means there is a high likely hood this post will be error ridden and senseless, but cut me a wee bit of slack now?  It’s 1 A.M, the first hour of my 26th birthday and I’m blogging.  LAMEEEEEEE.  Guess that’s what happens when you get old.  😉

OMG. Is that my name? Groupie Moment! (& the girl knows how to work a brand, right??!?)

She’s even prettier and sweeter in person, if you can believe it at all possible.

Ready to roll!

John’s notebook.  Architectural handwriting, amazing notes.  Yep, I’m gonna steal it and sell it.

I. Die. Okay at this point I was maybe halfway cool.  At breakfast is where I had to keep my mouth shut for fear of blurting out “I LOVE YOU!…and J.D., too…”

Total suck-ups we may be, but Candice delivered with the cupcake promise and I had to pick the girl up some flowers from the public market.  What?!? Her birthday was just a few days before, I didn’t have a card and felt bad!  Thankfully, the awkwardness of having to deliver them prom-style was totally averted with a classy West Side Story style entrance by the group into breakfast.  Thanks for totally making that less awkward guys.  Thanks.  😉

Wrapped up the day and had to go out for dinner and drinks with the creative live crew!  Love you, Keena & Susan!

I will write (and photograph!) more intelligently next time, I pinky swear.

xoxo

Ashley